Dickens, Faith a Bit of Kung Fu Panda and Sir Samuel Rush Meyrick

I am going through a bit of a vile time - I know it will come good and I will get through it but what I hate is the collateral damage - harm, distress and worry caused to those I love. 

Like Helen in The Archers I have been railroaded by a sociopath - anyway - it gives one a lot to think about and looking at it academically which I do makes it sort of interesting in a Mary Shelley kind of way. 

These people are identified in various different ways - in fact it was a dear friend  - yes you D - who clocked mine - he speaks from experience and 'tapped' me on the shoulder as he recognised certain behavioural patterns. 

That's enough for now but I will write more as it helps. 

Still all over Chinese New Year :

The thing I have found is that when I quiet my mind ( I am shit at meditation so I do it in the small hours ) I just KNOW everything is going to be ok. I think this must be faith.

I have thought long and hard about my faith and I realise now how much it means to me and what strength it gives me - when one is up against wrong just think 'good will out.'

My beloved sister just had a REALLY BIG OPERATION and has come out the other side an utter champion. Extraordinary and inspiring. We went to a Carol Service at Ely and the wonderful Canon gave her a kiss on the cheek and she later told me she knew everything was going to be ok.

I am going to give myself some advice - step away from the problem, deep breaths, look at it with distance and it's a bit like riding a horse in a tough race - it's the final fence that matters even if you take a whack or two getting there.

Good will out. 

If by any chance you follow Apollo Magazine on twitter you will come across the most beautiful painting of Sir Samuel Rush Meyrick whose collection is in the British Museum and Wallace Collection. Amazing chap. I'll post the painting next time. 

I just bought this. When I am fed up I want to be in France and when I am in France I think about the influence Elizabeth David had on me as a young cook.

Ps. The definer of the sociopath is a total lack of empathy. There are people who really are without goodness in them. Sadly. My dear friend D suggested an iPhone app so we could scan for them and know in advance. 

I go back to Dickens 'Never take a mean advantage of anyone in any transaction.'